Director: David Hurles
Studio: OldReliable, Bijou
Genre: Solo, Masturbation, Muscle, Vintage, Hairy Men, Bears
Cast: Butch, Bill Smith, Mark, Patrick, Keith, Brian, Tom and Stavros
Description: Old Reliable’s celebration of hairy men is a real treat; it also provides an opportunity to ruminate on the sexual power of hair. Hair holds a loaded position throughout the history of the world. The power wielded by the Biblical figure Samson was manifest in his long locks. Lady Godiva rode naked on a horse but it was the golden mane that obscured her breasts that has become the erotic site of her tale, not her protest. Christian custom requires women to cover their heads in places of worship so as not to distract the weaker sex, men, from talk of scripture. Orthodox Jewish custom demands a married woman to shave her head; this achieves two goals, it makes her unattractive to other men and allows for full immersion in the cleansing baths during the menstruation. History is filled with writings about hair on the head: martyrs have been rumored to grow hair after death, balding men are ridiculed on television as unattractive or weak. The latter is particularly offensive. Baldness is caused by testosterone, not by stress or femininity or so hair loss cannot actually be a flaw in a man’s character. All this focus on the head, what does it achieve? What does it ignore? Well, it ignores the beauty of hair in other places, the chest, the belly, the genital areas, the ass, the legs, even the hands and feet. Hair is one of the most erotically charged parts of the human body. At its most basic, hair defines adulthood, and more specifically masculinity. Those stray hairs that creep out of the top of a button-down are almost as thrilling as a nice cock framed by a thick, dense bush. No sight in the world is sexier than the sweaty, cum-covered hairs that wrap around an asshole after a fuck. Hell, even some of the world’s most interesting women have used hair to challenge notions of viable sexuality. Remember the dark thatch under Siouxsie Sioux’s arms that she proudly exposed? How about when Madonna flashed her furry pits or when she was shunned by mainstream media for her hairy cunt in those legendary art photos (taken with a cat no less)? Hair equals the rush of blood to a cock, no matter how many Falcon performers wax and depilitorize. Some of us will always crave the extra musk and sweat brought on by body hair. Flesh covered in fur is like the ultimate fetish. We will gag when we almost swallow a strand of hair, even our own, during dinner, but almost no one will flinch if he gets a tight n curly stuck in his teeth while giving old dog head. This is where the hirsute hunks of Old Reliable come in and rock your earth. There’s Tom, a drop-dead thug with a mustache, goatee, and hairy stomach who chomps on a cigar as he flexes his matching-tattoos-of-Jesus biceps. He squeezes his ample balls and revels in his orgasm; he slicks his dick with his own cum. While he poses for the camera he bends over and offers a glimpse of his fur-trimmed blossom, a hole to envy and desire. Next, three different men jerk off in the same room while watching a porno. One is an obscene dream known as Butch, everything the name implies mustache, muscles, danger, big dick. Another is the most sadly pretty man, Mark, a Marc Singer (star of Beast Master and V) look-alike who’s covered in chestnut fur. The third man, someone Orson Welles could never have dreamed up, is the angelic Stavros (referred to as Steve, but starred in other OR videos as Stavros), whose upper body is smooth as a diamond while his cock is surrounded by a thicket of tight black curls curls that cover his perianal area and creep around his juicy butthole and slim inner thighs. Patrick shows up a little later, with his long, dirty blond hair, impish smile, and huge boner. Devilish angularity. He’s vacant, but the camera trains on his cock like a target. Patrick orgasms and poses like Proud Mary (keep on burnin ‘!) Soon, we are alone with the magnificent Butch, who is every bit the ham you want a man so hairy, buff, and beastly to be. The complicated aspects of the Old Reliable formula appear at the end to bite happy self-humpers in the proverbial ass. Keith, a bearded beauty with bad teeth, taunts his viewers as he cums, “look at all that cum faggots, queer bait motherfuckers suckin ‘dick.” Keith knows he’s an object for Hollywood men with a few extra bucks and a secret hankerin ‘for dick. Keith’s just trying to make the sun revolve around him for a minute, and that’s okay. He’s got enough hair to obscure his hatred. He’s Samson unchallenged for his fifteen minutes in front of a hermit’s voyeuristic camera. He, like all the other hairy hotties on this DVD, is worth the time it takes to squeeze the lotion or lube. Not because they have power, but because their bodies are celestially resplendently hairy an erotic power for all time.